distressed egg @distressedegg@mellified.men

FROM THE PATREON: "oh, you thought you were safe because you're all staying at home this year? ahaha. that's so cute. YOU'RE so cute. i could just e a t y o u u p"

subscribe today: http://patreon.com/distressedegg #nsfw

My new iron-on patches and stickers are out of pre-order and updated with product photos in the shop! All are available to order now for the anxious domme and/or queer villain in your life!

https://shop.irisjay.net/collections/distressed-egg

it's been nearly 2 years, so with @korpspropaganda@twitter.com 's blessing I'm relisting the "You Don't Have To Be Hypnotized..." Korps mug on a Zazzle Designer account, so I can start seeing a little money from it. if you haven't bought it yet, Zazzle's doing a sale! https://www.zazzle.com/korps_mug-168321535808630882

CHECK IT OUT: I have a website now over at http://distressedegg.fun ! I'm currently in the process of uploading the majority of my old art to the gallery, there's a slicker-looking explanation of the whole QVP thing, and there are links to my commission form AND shop. Bookmark it!

Many thanks to @itsnero for coding the site, and for letting me join the Adult Artists Webring, a cool collective of independent queer adult artists! http://www.adultartistswebring.org

HEY Y'ALL, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MY STUFF YET: my name's d.egg! i draw sexy art and comics for queer folks to enjoy.

you can check out my backlog of art over on my old account at @distressedegg, or on my tumblr (http://distressedegg.tumblr.com) or twitter (http://twitter.com/distressedegg)!

my patreon is also at http://patreon.com/distressedegg if you'd like to support me! thanks! <3

also HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING ON THIS ACCOUNT IS GOING TO BE SO EXPLICIT, IF YOU'RE UNDER 18 GET THE FUCK BACK TO CLUB PENGUIN #NSFW

i like horny stuff that wildly recontextualizes what sensuality can mean, and also i like being a big evil bitch

plus i like the idea of like. "we're not having what you would call 'sex'. you might not always feel comfortable or enjoy yourself while you're here. but when you step into my domain, you're becoming a very small part in a much, much larger machine. I take a deep and painstaking satisfaction in fine-tuning the performance of my components."

also agreeing that GLaDOS radiates massive QVP energy and "bitchy disembodied AI" is a vibe i relate to and need to make an OC for

i love reading cool tweets by my horny friends :)

TODAY ON EGG PLAYS: @Korpspropaganda@twitter.com is showing me the ropes (and cables, and I-beams, and concrete and asphalt and who knows what else) of CITIES: SKYLINES! 3pm Pacific, 6pm Eastern. Don't miss it! http://picarto.tv/distressedeggtv #nsfw

gotta try getting used to "egg xxi", because fuck if i'm going back to NORMAL numbers

i'll be real, it's gonna take me a couple months before i stop writing my signature as "egg xx". that shit was too cool

Subscribe today to support my fiendish pornographic experiments, and to check out art a month in advance, vote in polls, and other cool stuff! http://patreon.com/distressedegg! #nsfw

FROM THE PATREON: "i bet you wish you could escape, hmm~? well, i'm sorry, that's just not--" *accidentally opens Bridge* "--wait fuck fuck FUCK" #nsfw

thinking about spending the rest of the year as a catgirl, for tax reasons

subscribe today to see art a month in advance, vote in polls and more! also it means i can spend more time thinking up cool horny stuff instead of stressing about how to cover food, rent and bills. everybody wins! woooooow!

http://patreon.com/distressedegg #nsfw

FROM THE PATREON: november patron sketches. "why's everyone suddenly into aerobics all of a sudden? might as well kill two birds with one stooohhhh shit it's not supposed to be that potent oh shit oh SHIT" #nsfw

warms my fucked up evil little heart to see people talking about cape kink all over the timeline tonite