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So I hacked Billy Joel's phone and now I'm really fucking scared

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Putting my homebrew Linux distro on my Apple Newton and being immediately sent to hell

your package has been shipped via UPS Chaos Mode. seven themed worlds will challenge your package with unique enemies and power-ups. your package will battle powerful level bosses before facing off against the mighty King Bolon.

Dune is actually an elaborate personal power fantasy wherein Frank Herbert creates an entire world to justify the idea that his terrible sense of rhythm is actually a super useful survival skill

"I'm going to speak to you the only way I can truly make myself known."
"You mean...through the language of love?"
"Y-yes...love..." I say, sliding the German to English dictionary under my pillow.

AOWYN: I am no man!
THE WITCH-KING OF ANGMAR: huh. you know, I guess I just assumed that "man" was being used as a shorthand for "mankind" - it feels like someone would have mentioned that if OH FUCK

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SAURON: you can now be killed... by no man.
THE WITCH KING OF ANGMAR: Great! Thanks so much. Ive got absolutely no questions about this and i cant foresee having any problems with it

im monetizing and gamifing my dick and balls for increased engagement

YOU: 500 years ago i would have been a blacksmith known for engineering ingenious machines harnessing the power of water
ME: 500 years ago i would cuckold a joiner

my brain perfectly conjuring a false memory of Bob Odenkirk playing a character in a jumpsuit and scary clown makeup. going into depositions like "yes my professional name is Dr. Fangs and for twelve years i played the bone-xylophone in the Slaughter Psychos."

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i learned this past weekend that one of the guys in Slipknot that played garbage cans and kegs like drums (they have TWO guys doing this full time) had sued the rest of the band for breach of fiduciary duty.

that shit feels like it's just two degrees off from being a Mr. Show sketch.

The phone of the future will have a big hole in the center. Apps will just have to work around the hole

I moved to #nyc 11 years ago this month. To celebrate the occasion I met up with my one-time roommate and longtime cousin in our old neighborhood of #Astoria in #Queens. The area has changed a lot, and mostly for the better. Some of our old haunts succumbed to COVID, but many are still there and the neighborhood is more lively than ever. I deeply miss it there.
The final pic: RIP Sparrow Tavern.

So I found out the "do you think God stays in heaven in fear of what he created?" comes from spy kids 2 (because the kids watched it yesterday) and I have to say for one of the best lines ever that sure is a weird movie to be in

The ghosts and bats are terrifying! And the portions; so sensible!

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