Pinned toot

So I hacked Billy Joel's phone and now I'm really fucking scared

Pinned toot

Staring at a piece of moldy bread on a broken plate. Harsh light bleeds into the humid room through cracked and filthy boards against the windows.
"Ikari Gendo was a wife guy," I mutter, as a sodden ceiling tile collapses and falls with a whimper onto the frayed remnants of a rug.

"I contain multitudes" is a little much. I contain some stuff

There was a terrible educational film strip for 1940s teens on MST3K that had the main teen answer the question "do you (and your girlfriend) like the same music?" with "oh sure! We like orchestras... popular songs..."

And to this day if anyone asks about my music taste I think in my head "I like popular songs"

important information 

Baby puffins are called "pufflings".

some robodialer keeps calling me to leave messages asking me to press one for prayers

Like if you are a coward.

Boost if you pronounce the "w" in "sword."

Alc mention 

Shout out to the guy wheeling a crate of prosecco down the street. You're the real hero.

You're on the deck of a schooner in Marina of the Retrospect.
Light snow falls with a gust and loosely scattered coins are floating around.

You're in The Caverns of Online.
The area ahead has collapsed in and the sound of a ringing phone comes from below.

I'll probably do the goof again or I'll forget about it

uuugh I gotta delete me internet goof because you can see my name in some of them. Godammit.

Watching the filth on my desk pile up over time.

I don't know what's happening outside my window, but I do know it involves a lot of yelling and a lot of refrigerators

sex toy mention 

Me plugging my magic wand in to charge from my work laptop while working from home:

*hacker voice* I'm in.

Food mention, lewd 

I'm eating cake for breakfast, exactly like a man who has had sex before at least once.

food mention 

Eat sausage!
(No!)
Eat ham!
(No!)
Eat Sandwich!
(No!!)
Eat rain?

(YES!)
(ONLY RAIN!!)

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