When it comes to making coffee, I have a foolproof, tried-and-true method that has served me extremely well over the years. In fact, every time I have deviated from this procedure, it's led to disaster:

At the start of the process, make sure the lights in the room are turned on.

Knowledge is useless if not shared, I offer this wisdom free of charge that you may learn from my mistakes.

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cooking, cursed 

I have a similar technique for making bacon: Put a shirt on first.

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A cozy little tomb full of friendly ghouls.