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if you wanna be my plover, you gotta get with my wrens

hell is an amazing place to live. the demons all have jobs they love, with generous benefits. the whole place has free heating. the food sucks though

daylight shavings time. no longer have to shave under the cover of darkness, where no one can see

update adobe flash player? in THIS economy???

write fanfic about yr OCs. i call this "original fic" or OF. please credit me if you use this idea

they call me "hot hands," because of my uncomfortably warm hands

never know if my phone is overheating or my fingers just get weirdly hot

died of listening to the same weezer song too many times in a row

Still waiting for the Enchanting Wizard of Rhythm to tell me about the rhythms of the universe.

keep getting 'Magician' and 'Michigan' mixed up, one's shaped like a glove and the other was arrested trying to dump doves and rabbits into the great lakes

there are a limited number of character archetypes in the world, after all

if you create a character who lives in a cave, you are legally required to make them crave truckin' and fuckin', exclusively

OCs at 15: This is Darkspear The Dragon, his heart is a dying star and he has four parents, each more powerful than the last

OCs at 25: this is Colin the Parrot he looks like Gregory Universe and works at a gas station

OCs at 30: DARKSPEAR'S BACK AND NOW SHE'S GOT CURSED SWORDS

taking its place alongside the floppy disk icon as a technology reference that has changed so much that it no longer makes sense: that scene from a goofy movie where they cook spaghettios with a car cigarette lighter

i've made the grave mistake... of logging in...

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Honey Mummy Central

A cozy little tomb full of friendly ghouls.