i simply detest when i enter a normal-looking house and it begins to fill with secret passages leading to dark, silent pocket dimensions


i loathe the days when i blow a few notes on an ancient flute i found on the beach and subsequently find myself menaced by a malevolent spirit

sometimes you wish to experience the simple delight of solving a rubik's cube without inviting all of hell's perverse abominations into your home

Show thread

just once i'd like to go for a leisurely stroll in the sewer without being pursued by a carnivorous evil clown

Show thread

@wolfteeth constantly getting owned by the vast and unknowable universe around me in ways that ironically reflect my mundane personal flaws, and listen, i love a good cosmic ownage as much as the next stupefied mortal, but it's getting less captivating and more just nitpicky

@wolfteeth LIKE OKAY: yesterday all my skin sloughed off my body and the hollow shell stood up as i screamed and ran my hands across the slimy scales that now covered me. it leaned down over me, and in a voice that sounded like a knife scraped against a piece of raw meat, it wheezed "YOU COULD STAND TO MOISTURIZE A LITTLE MORE OFTEN, YOU KNOW"

@wolfteeth It would be great if I could just refurbish this old country orphanage in peace without being constantly bothered by some creepy little ghost child.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Honey Mummy Central

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!