i simply detest when i enter a normal-looking house and it begins to fill with secret passages leading to dark, silent pocket dimensions

i loathe the days when i blow a few notes on an ancient flute i found on the beach and subsequently find myself menaced by a malevolent spirit

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sometimes you wish to experience the simple delight of solving a rubik's cube without inviting all of hell's perverse abominations into your home

just once i'd like to go for a leisurely stroll in the sewer without being pursued by a carnivorous evil clown

@wolfteeth constantly getting owned by the vast and unknowable universe around me in ways that ironically reflect my mundane personal flaws, and listen, i love a good cosmic ownage as much as the next stupefied mortal, but it's getting less captivating and more just nitpicky

@wolfteeth LIKE OKAY: yesterday all my skin sloughed off my body and the hollow shell stood up as i screamed and ran my hands across the slimy scales that now covered me. it leaned down over me, and in a voice that sounded like a knife scraped against a piece of raw meat, it wheezed "YOU COULD STAND TO MOISTURIZE A LITTLE MORE OFTEN, YOU KNOW"

@wolfteeth It would be great if I could just refurbish this old country orphanage in peace without being constantly bothered by some creepy little ghost child.

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